Words to Hyperventilate By

When I'm really excited about something, I hyperventilate. It's a good thing actually, but annoying as I become over-oxygenated and partially black-out in front of the computer screen. Why do I hyperventilate? Because I'm a panic attack pro.

Anxiety - good and bad - has always been a monkey on my back. In college I could be counted on to stand up in the middle of a lecture, turn green, and walk out. Always a fun date, I would have to excuse myself in the middle of a movie to go chill in the bathroom (preferably the last stall). My friends didn't get it, thinking all I needed was a beer and a nap to regulate my system.

Fortunately, the panic attacks subsided as I plodded through adulthood, but it seems they are coming back. With the joy and excitement of finally allowing myself to write something other than ad copy, I've really embraced my huffing and puffing over query letters, manuscript submissions and synopsis hell. It looks like this time around, hyperventilating is my outlet for expression.

Lose Your Writing, Lose Yourself

Ah, this brings back fond memories of copywriting. Slaving over campaigns. Concepting new ideas to sell, sell, sell! When I think back to those days, which were not long ago, I see a double-edged sword. On one side, I learned more than I ever dreamed about what makes people tick, salivate and want to buy a product or service. I also honed my organizational skills with regard to writing. On the other side, I learned that when you write all day for a living, you often burn-out on your own creative writing. I think that is what happened to me.

Consequently, for 16 years I wrote marketing copy and magazine articles, as well as edited a national magazine (also a good job for those who want to write well). As a copywriter, I often came home too tired to write anything else. I didn't want to see another word. I used bad grammar on purpose after-hours (like a true word sinner). You see, I thought I had to make my job revolve around writing, and most often for the writer this means copywriting. Wrong.

Putting your first love on the back burner breaks your heart and your soul. This is because you need to write. It is your heart's desire. No, I don't mean copywriting, even though there are certainly folks out there that love it to no end. What I mean is that when you hide an essential piece of who you are, you tend to lose your entire self.

Now that I am out of copywriting (thanks to the recession), I've had more time than I could ask for to string lovely words together into stories of lust and deceit! The passion is back, and so is my creativity.

Of course, I do need a day gig, but now I know it doesn't have to revolve around my passion for writing.